Newbie Doomer: Alone by Besvärjelsen

Yeah I can’t pronounce the band name either but this song is one of the first songs that I have been gifted that has really made me feel like it fits in the doom category. It’s slow and heavy but it feels like it could be on one of my sad songs playlists. I really like the vocals and the music with this song. What also amazes me is that this Swedish band, has put together a 10 minute 43 second song that I am willing to sit through. Normally, I complain to the Clean and Sober Stoner that I don’t appreciate these long drawn out songs that take 15 minutes for me to experience. But this one I did willingly and multiple times. That should tell you something, coming from a Pop loving 4 minute limit listener, right off the bat. Here is the band video letting you know how to pronounce their name. Yeah, I know I learned something today too. You’re welcome!

So let’s get into it. It starts off with a lone guitar that plays such a simple rift. Reminds me of something you might hear if you were in the desert, alone and wandering. Then the bass and drums come in on a major chord and it just gets so much fuller. Your are still in the desert, still alone, plodding along. Then you hear the first lyrics…

“By mountains close to where we live
They have seen shadows of your wind
Things you had left to seek for more
Took me seven years to let you go”

So you start to see the first hints at the poem of this song. You left me and I have been waiting 7 years to see you again. Again the music is slow and sad and just moving you through at this measured pace. There is no rush. Almost like you are experiencing the pain of the waiting or walking on this endless dune of sand for the last 7 years waiting for something… But then the guitars start to get more animated. Like you are getting anxious.

“Spinning back in time
We fight we lie we die inside
A wasted youth
What could you do but watch me fall”

These lyrics are interesting to me. They suggest that the person left for a reason. What could you do but watch me fall? A wasted youth, we fight, we lie, we die inside. All powerful lyrics to help you understand perhaps what may have happened when they left 7 years ago. But it is open to your interpretation. The pain they caused each other. Remembering the hurts of the past that have culminated into where they are today. The music here starts to build again. Its almost as if you can feel this emotional roller coaster that they want to take you on. It builds like the anticipation of seeing them again. What will it be like, will they break me again? This section has such a great metal riff that just makes you feel like the pace has changed. Almost like your heartbeat is moving faster. We are no longer plodding along but tingling with excitement and anxiety.

“So what did you come here for
I’d break your bones before I let you hurt me more
Did you come back for me
Please Leave”

The pace slows and these are lyrics are so powerful. Like I can’t take you being here and coming back. I would break your bones before I let you hurt me again. Again. I would argue that the song is telling us they never stopped hurting. So much regret communicated within the music, lyrics and the overall pace of the song. And the Please Leave are almost a whisper fading on the wind before they go into the guitar solo. Slowing us back down to get back to that sad slow pace again. I feel like we are turning away from that person who has hurt us. Again so so sad.

“Tell me I’m free before you go
I never loved so I don’t know
The sun will rise when you are gone
I’d chase the stars around your universe”

And the last part of the song, tell me I am free before I go. The sun will rise when you are gone. Like let me be free. I don’t want to do this anymore. And the guitars start that building and crescendo over and over again.

All in all the song is done at about the 8 minute mark with the same music playing you out. You are still journeying through the wilderness trying to mend your broken heart. Trying to let go. Plodding along at the slow and steady pace. Walking forever into nothingness. Maybe the higher pitch and the driving drums mean I am finally breaking free here. I’m not sure. What I think the band did do a beautiful job of was the building and releasing of energy.  They bring you to an apex in the song to help you feel the story and then bring you back down at the end.  It’s all one cohesive poem about love lost and the anxiety we have.

I get that Doom has a pattern, and seem to be essentially songs about pain and death of relationships or people who are important to us. Sometimes these are hard to listen to when you are a peppy and positive person. I wonder if this is also part of the both draw to some who love doom and the reason why they are not popular with others. They can bring down the mood and make me feel blah. I can see how they have a place in the rotation. Doom to me sometimes feels like that one friend that is like Eeyore and you can’t quite ever seem to get them out of the funk. You love them and you support them but man sometimes it is good to go home and have a pop dance party in my underwear. You know what I mean? (Of course you do). I know not all Doom fits into this sad and slow category and I will keep listening. But friends – hug your Eeyores and add some Happy to their lives. That’s all for this one. Thanks for reading. Catch you next time. ❤ Your favorite Newbie Doomer

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