30 Years of Heavy Recovery

Update 9/21/24

Yep. Slow going. It’s rough, but if I didn’t publish it now I never would publish it.

By the way, if anyone reading this is thinking about doing the same thing I’m doing, don’t do it. Writing book in real time and posting the chapters one at a time feels like a good idea when you make the decision.

This chapter isn’t overly exciting, but I think there is a payoff by covering the things I mentioning.

Again, I feel the need to point out that this is not the finished. This is second draft stuff, badly in need of an editor. If I actually get around to publishing this, it will be rewritten, probably half a dozen times. But it’s raw, real, and a work in progress.

A couple things to note: you may notice my descriptions of people in places ain’t that good. They’re not, and that’s deliberate. I’m trying to write this from the perspective of a newcomer in their first few months, and I also want to respect anonymity.

The next thing to point out is that I am not the hero of the story. In fact, I’m a very unreliable historian at this point. Some of the things that are going to be presented in the next few chapters might tempt you to feel some sympathy. Fuck that. I’m just warning you, don’t get sucked in with my naïve, poor-me narrative.

Third, things are about to get darker in the next chapter, and then spiral out of control. That’s because that’s how my recovery went, especially in 1993. I can’t wait to get to that part, but I’m dreading it at the same time.

And finally, these chapters are just too long and there’s too much ground to cover. As of now, what you are reading is actually a part of the first book, which will cover roughly the first year of my recovery. Even then, it’s gonna end up being pretty long.

Update: 12/10/23.

Massive re-write has commenced. I appreciate everyone who’s checked this out so far- you know as well as I do how much it needs rewritten!

This is my story, based on primary sources, mostly my journal, some paperwork, and the calendar. I call it a novel because I remember what happened to James Frey and A Million Little Pieces. I’m also fictionalizing enough to protect other people’s privacy. For instance, when it comes to my wife, the character won’t be anything like my wife.

This will take a while, covering from 1992 to 2022, though it’s too early to tell if it will be one volume or more. Hang with me if you want as i figure out what I’m doing. It’s gonna be rough reading, in the sense that when I post each chapter, it will be a second draft, at best. If this project works out, I’ll re-edit and re-write as needed, but that’s a ways off from now.

Regardless, music was as important as AA/NA, and as far as I’m concerned, more so. AA and NA are wonderful organizations, but the truth is they both vary wildly from meeting to meeting. Still, the are part of my Heavy Recovery. I’m not gonna hold back: the good and the really, really bad will be written down. For every success story, there are dozens that paint a different picture.

But the music, I could always count on. It’s always there with new stuff coming out every day.

I promise that everything I describe in this actually happened. But places/names/dates will be altered, again to protect both the innocent. And the guilty: we deserve a break sometimes, too…