Local Band Confirms ‘Big Announcement Coming Soon’

This satire article is a collaboration between Slightly Fuzzed and Monster Riff. Welcome to Slightly Riffed: The Fakest News In Stoner Rock!

Slightly Riffed is pleased to confirm that a local band has “a big announcement coming soon!” Just earlier this week, the local band announced that “there are big things in the works” and they’re “excited to share some big news soon!” This comes after almost four months of complete silence on all social media.

At this time, we can only speculate on what this impending “big announcement” might be. If previous announcements are any indication of what might be in the works, we could be in store for a new demo. Most likely: The demo will consist of four to five tracks that may or may not have been recorded on a flip phone.

The local band could also be planning a new live gig at the local pizzeria. Last year, the band made a similar post announcing a new show “with a killer lineup” that actually just included them and two other bands we have never heard of. It’s also been almost two weeks since the band has announced new merchandise items for sale, so this could very well be another t-shirt or sticker option with the band’s logo on it.

When approached for comment, the band stated, “We can’t give any more details at this time, but you’re not going to want to miss it!” They continued, “We’re so excited to share this big announcement with everyone very soon!”

Rest assured, Slightly Riffed will keep you updated as more details emerge.

This article is satire.